Why need Mediation?

Mediation is a structured process where the conflicting parties enlist the services of a trained mediator, well-versed in dispute resolution and knowledgeable about the subject matter of the dispute. Similar to arbitration, mediation involves the selection of a neutral third party to assist in resolving the conflict, but unlike an arbitrator, a mediator does not impose a final decision. Instead, the mediator's role is to facilitate discussions and guide the disputing parties towards a mutually agreed-upon settlement. Mediation is often favored when preserving the ongoing relationship between the parties is of paramount importance. Furthermore, lawyers can be present or consulted throughout the mediation process.   

Mediation is frequently chosen as an alternative or precursor to litigation for several compelling reasons:

1. Efficiency: Mediation tends to expedite the resolution process. A skilled mediator often helps the disputing parties realize that their positions are not as far apart as they initially thought, which can significantly reduce the time required to reach an agreement.

2. Affordability: The cost of mediation is typically shared by each party involved, making it a more cost-effective option compared to protracted legal proceedings.

3. Confidentiality: Mediation offers a high level of confidentiality. The decisions and discussions that occur during mediation remain private, unless the parties explicitly agree otherwise. This confidentiality can be crucial, especially when sensitive matters are involved.

4. Educational: Mediation provides valuable education to the disputing parties. It teaches them effective negotiation skills and problem-solving techniques. These skills can empower individuals to resolve future issues independently, potentially preventing future disputes.

5. Flexibility: Mediation is a flexible process. The parties can revisit and renegotiate their agreement at any point, allowing for adjustments as circumstances change or new information comes to light.

In summary, mediation is a collaborative and cost-effective approach to resolving disputes, with the mediator serving as a skilled facilitator. It not only helps parties reach mutually acceptable solutions more quickly but also empowers them with negotiation skills for future conflict resolution. Additionally, the confidentiality and flexibility of mediation make it an attractive option when compared to more formal legal proceedings.

Recently, I have received a number of marital mediation cases. The goal of these cases is not to separate (divorce), but to harmonize the details of family life and getting along with each other, and they expressed the need for a neutral professional with a counseling background, but with mediation expertise, to find a model and a platform for both to get along better.

Of course, for me this kind of case is very similar to marriage counseling, but in fact my starting and ending points are different. For me, the most important thing in marriage mediation is to focus on gathering and understanding the important and accurate factual information, actively listening to their needs, feeling their emotions, and finding an outcome as soon as possible that is equitable in terms of their emotions and status, and that meets their expectations.

To achieve a successful mediation, one of the indispensable things is to find their common ground, because this is an important step, but I will also let both parties see that they are different beyond the common ground. This means that everyone has to give up or give in on areas that are not important to them, in addition to wanting to get what they want. Of course, people can give up all the time, and there is never a need to achieve continuity, but the wisdom of owning and letting go is essential if a relationship is to be strong and sustainable.

That said, whether at home or at work, keeping a team relationship on solid common ground and learning and understanding each other's differences is the beginning and end of all good things.